I hid from the sun and built thicker walls to hide from the cold of winter.
But when winter comes
I'm stuck in this cycle, consistent, repetitive.
I built thicker walls
So you won't get too close.
So you won't think too much about me.
So this doesn't end like everything good in my life.
Cause everything falls apart
And I guess I'm just older
And my past has made me careful not to trust even my family,
the ones who gave me shelter.
What's a home with no foundation?
Just a place to rest you head
And hope that if the walls come down falling
They'll forgive all that I said.
I was screaming in my pillow
Hoping they would hear
And realize what they were doing
Was building up a fear.
Track Name: Clementine
My blood is boiling up
right to the back of my eyes.
Too many knots in my throat,
I couldn't speak if I tried,
I wouldn't know what to say.
That means no more phone calls
Or "I love you, goodnight,"
And I'm glad you moved North
So I won't hear you're doing alright.
Three years of my life.
The best years of my life.
Now I feel like Joel Barish, need you erased from my mind.
Need you erased from my mind.
Track Name: Family Traits
How did you find yourself here?
I know it's been a while but I remember a face far less decayed.
Manicured nails, hair without grays.
I never suspected a thing
And then on that day
Perfume hid the scent
Of rum and cigarettes stained your breath.
Sorry was all you could say
When your son found you face down on your sink.
Your hands and knees trembling, my heart fell down to my feet.
And I'm scared
Because we're both so alike with our addictive personalities
that some days I'll get so down,
someday I'll get so sad
and the bottle won't fulfill so I'll try something harder,
something that last longer that will take away the troubles in my mind.
I bet it felt good the first time, maybe even the first few times.
But if you could go back it wouldn't be the same.
I bet you'd be a saint if you could have seen your face.
Oh, how I wish there was a way for anything to change.
I want to see you smile.
I want to hear you breathe without the influence of substances that change the way you think.
Oh, how I wish there was a way.
Track Name: Late Bloomers, Early Caskets
Just like the seasons changing,
Just like the leaves keep falling.
I want to take it all back,
Every word I said.
Change the way I saw things,
Change the way I felt about love.
Realize my words still linger,
Realize that I'm still here and you're not.
My eyes are closed,
My stomach is sick
But it gets so much worse than this.
I've realized I'm weak and lost the things
Important to me.
There's no way to eat,
There's no way to sleep
When things like this keep happening,
But I'm just one to hold it all in.
Just like my mind keeps racing,
Just like I'm lost in my own head,
Some desperate measures
Call for taking chances
So I'll keep my head clear
Everything that falls apart
It brings new meaning.
Learning there's no certainty,
That there are no certain objects
Or certain things
That stay the same.
Wrap my body around soiled trees.
I am one with a broken earth that surrounds me.
Track Name: Here's To The Collaborative Efforts Made By All Things Under The Sun
Well I hope your heart is in the right place
So hang your head low, put your hands to your side,
Embrace for the impact and close both your eyes.
And everyone knows you're not coming home tonight.
Just an average kid with no one left, with no hope left.
Sick of hearing the same words like things will change
But they won't, no they won't.
I just wanted to meet the person I've seen for years through the TV screen,
We watched old videos of you and me.
Same hair, same eyes, same I'm-not-sure-what's-happening smile.
Just wanted to meet, maybe get a coffee, catch a conversation and figure this out.
When I look back on my life I don't want to feel sad
That you weren't ever here and that I never tried.
So right before sunset on everyday I look back West
Toward your home and wonder what you're thinking.
Can you hear me?
I'm screaming your name
And some days I drift back to that spot in the yard
With the sun on my back and you held me.