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You're Not You Anymore

by Counterparts

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Bouquet 02:30
Disconnecting veins in an effort to release my tragedy. All that we leave behind is misery, and my disease is a sanctuary. A curse that unfolds like a novel, but I’d sooner slit my wrists with the first page. I find it hard to feel alive while my heart beats in borrowed time. The cadence that I’ve kept confined existing only in the black behind my eyes. Not worthy of a memory. Deny all grief and force yourself to forget me. Don’t allow my ghost to linger any longer than it has. Let my spirit breathe, I’ve finally found peace. Allow me to exist only in the empty spaces between breaths, in the margin of each exhale that you’re sure that you have left. Be mindful of the way speaking my name could leave a poison on your lips. The ache that binds your bones will be my parting gift. A grave unfit to bear the blame. Pale limbs like flowers to be tied in a bouquet that the soil refused to cultivate. To be born, to live, to die, rotting away. There’s nothing to be done. I can’t be saved.
Compare our dependence to predator and prey. A parallel engraved into our souls by the work of broken hands. Contradiction carved in canvas and our nail-beds ache from scratching at the surface. Coerced by your creation. Finding foundation in decay. With the culmination of our failure on display, convince yourself I am your greatest masterpiece. Disassemble me however you see fit and put me back together absolving me of my impurities... and you know I'd welcome your embrace even if your arms resembled teeth. Cover me in scars. Close your eyes in case I bleed. I'd let you cover me in scars if you could carry me forever. Carry me forever in your heart. A predator, I pray; release me from the mouth of dependency. Forgive me for my absence, our love will know not wasted time.
In you no passion bleeds, a shell that's thin and withering. Did you misplace your flame in pursuit of a new hell to help you heal or burn the same? Dedication makes a martyr out of me while you're afraid to offer flakes of skin. Your fire dies, dependent on the embers I provide. Shield your blaze from beads of sweat. No servant. No servant of mine, turn your back and flee. Bending over backwards to be sure we watched you leave. You are not owed more than the shoulders you have burdened. Contentment breeds in our disintegration like bitter pills digested by the sick. I wish you luck and hope you've found your medicine (pray that it kills you quick). The chase has clouded your perception, beg to be buried in the sky. Dependent on the embers I provide, your fire dies. The same mud buries both of us alive and still you search for different shades of dirt.
Haunt Me 03:17
Not what you need, we've been seduced by suffering in spite of separation. Embedded in my head, the hallucination settles. If our memories don't drag their feet in dirt their steps can't be retraced. So we spin until we're sick, longing for the loss of balance. A fall that carries us from heaven to our grave. You haunt me like an empty home. Priceless possession, I bring you with me wherever I go. Wander through me, rearranging my insides in search of sleep. So well rested, you forget to bring me with you when you leave. Punish my body for the things my soul has seen. I've been staring into sunlight counting backwards while the radiance blinds me. Flawed reflections will make themselves at home convincing us to walk barefoot through miles of broken mirrors. Hollow out my body, I know you need somewhere to sleep. Change the locks on doors I've left open inside of me. Hollow out my body, I'm not what you need. In spite of separation, we have been seduced by suffering. Migrate as you may, swallowing your spare key for safekeeping. Wander where you please inside of me. You haunt me.
How comforting it feels to breathe with hands around my neck. Sleepwalk your way around my arteries if you're restless. Dig through me. Swim beneath my skin in the precipitation I've graciously gathered. I won't let you drown inside me. Useless blood will fade like a dark cloud that has purged itself of rain. Humanity will bathe in our transparency. Positioned over trenches, we allow our wounds to drain. Searching for a virgin conduit in vain. How comforting it feels to breath with your knees upon my chest. When consciousness disguises itself as paralysis. Dig through me. Swim beneath my skin in the precipitation I've graciously gathered. I won't let you drown inside me. Positioned over trenches so we can purge ourselves of rain. Falling from our wounds through empty arteries, you are the blood that my heart bleeds.
Thieves 01:16
There are no rewards for consuming the wounded. Starved for an easy kill, keep your hunger at bay. I will use your flesh to keep her warm. (Your) God would break character if he could for a chance to spit in your face. Guardian angels couldn't keep you safe from me. With my last breath, I will strangle you to death with your own fucking hands. I will make my peace removing the arms of unrepentant thieves.
Rope 02:20
Portraits of hope reflecting off a blade that bears my name. Hanging inches from my head, there is no light bright enough to bring my shadow back to life. A presence that the fortunate weren't predisposed to feel. My seance of surrender will fall upon deaf ears. Promises I have disowned appear before me resembling the outline of my soul. Unravel me, ever sentence makes me sick. Bound and abandoned by a noose that lifts me off my feet. Hanging like a halo overhead, I knew your rope was made for me. Fading, I fall backwards into the dust. Positioned vertically, but a casket knows to catch me. Buried only waist-deep in the earth, we carve the fading features of our silhouettes into our coffin doors. Hope is a blade that bears my name. I knew your rope was made for me.
Don't adorn me like the dead. I deserve to look like myself once again. Suspend from the sky like ornaments. Nothing to no one, only memories misread. I am a farewell that even heaven won't accept. Collecting scars like souvenirs of pasts we can't forget. Broken glass, swept over the bodies I know best. I am a farewell that even heaven won't accept. Separate me from a finished product like needle and thread. Translating words to portray the vacant pages they live in. A requiem worshipped for the pauses it contains. Praising not the essence but the meaningless remain. Collecting shards from mirror images of me. I am no idol for the weak. Nothing to no one, a memory misread.
Dissolving in small oceans. Responsible for concentrating currents to match a pulse in use that no longer exists. Resurfacing only when we're running out of air. Apprehensive from our absent-heartedness. Spitting blood from confidence confessed. Inducing dreams in which we never met to rid myself of regret. We were a pair of fragile limbs, too weak to carry us to bed. Stretched so thin but somehow burning at both ends. Foreshadowing the pain of transferring dead weight, while we can barely stay awake. A self inflicted severance will seal our fate. Let it die. We had to let this die. Dissolving in small oceans like the salt into our wounds. To match the pulse in us that no longer exists. We were a pair of fragile limbs, too weak to carry us to bed. Stretched so thin but somehow burning at both ends.
A garden grew between us in the love we lived without. Remaining faithful to the flood, our tears have purpose in a drought. Tread lightly, so footprints can't disturb the bed we've made. With restlessness reserved for both the bodies it contains. Aim your sharpest arrow at the center of my chest. A memorial to signify the sense of helplessness. We dare not mourn our past lives, our loss will be reborn... because I couldn't love who you were, but you're not you anymore. Sew your skeleton to mine, I'm no good on my own. Stitch yourself to either side of me so I will never be alone. We mend our past mistakes as a symbol that we've grown. So we no longer place our weight on top of broken bones. Mark an end to aimless roaming with a double sided knife. If we develop eyes for others, may we both be stripped out of sight. Liken our divide to partitions in the earth. Wrapped in walls of vines, growing out of common ground. A garden grew between us. Our tears have purpose in a drought. Mark an end to aimless roaming with a double sided knife. Taking steps towards each other, we could end both our lives... and that'd be fine.


released September 22, 2017


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Pure Noise Records Nashville, Tennessee

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