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It Never Gets Easy

by Eastwood

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It’s Friday night and I just finished my shift and I’ve been stuck at work all day I call my friends and they’re not responding but whatever I didn’t want to go out anyway I know I've got fair weather friends Down for life but backstabbers in the end I know I’ve got fair weather friends Down whenever ‘til they get some better plans It’s Monday morning I’m bored as hell and I just need to get away I go to Speedway to buy a coffee and all my friends are just there hangin’ without me I’ll be fine spending all my time in my room alone watching live videos
A false start is what you are I’m teething and unprepared, unaware of what will be the next 2 years Our eyes on the ceiling no foresight, just feeling. We pick apart the little knots, we’re so perfect without flaws or marks. Used to stay up and we’d talk Now I stay up to see if you’ll call Pace back and forth from wall to wall and now Things haven’t been the same since last fall I’m so far from where you are I’ll drive there and repair the flaws that show They’re now exposed we tried to cover them but choked My eyes on the blank road, regretting what I wrote to you we planted our rose in the winter so it wilts, not blooms Planted our rose in the cold so it wilts instead of blooms I was so unprepared for meeting someone like you
It’s been 4 weeks, still no sign of you calling me, I guess you just got over me or so it seems you’re too busy To send me a message and just ask how I’m doing or when I’m free Do you ever even think of me? Why are you always ruminating my thoughts? You’re igniting feelings that make me want to sing about you And I can’t stop thinking about you It’s true, all I can think about is you And there is nothing I can do about it To forget about this and finally get some peace within my mind At the show, you come with some other dude I’ve never seen before What is he for? I catch you smiling right at me you’re making feel things to put it simply I know you’re scared to get close But I promise not to hurt or let you go I’m a lot like you, you see I think I’d be good for you and you’d be good for me You take me by the hand I don’t want this night to end My insecure, paranoid mind tells me I’m not even worth your time I’m scared of the things that you might find If you dig deeper into my life But I’m a lot like you And I’m ready To let us bloom And be happy I’m a lot like you And I’m ready To let us bloom And be happy
Fine 04:10
I’ve been feeling low Just an accessory people keep around Like a friend you only care to see when they’re in town And I know I spend most of my time away But when I’m gone, I still think about you every day I can’t read your mind but I wish you could read mine It would say I could spend every day with you and be fine I could spend every day with you and be fine Overly rehashed, nostalgic conversations are getting bored I wonder what truth would come out if you spoke with meaningful words I guess I better get out of here and leave before I start overthinking Then when I come back we can act like nothing happened between us again
Hate to Hurt 03:06
You are so good to me And I’m so bad for you We could play this game Day after day But it’s wrong, I’d hate to You call my name I look away I’m too ashamed You sit and talk to me Dodging the truth Because it’s hard to see through We could tie the ends But they’re frayed And too old to hold on to You call my name I look away I’m too ashamed of the way that I hurt you
I look outside your two story window I see my whole life flash before my eyes At least I was kinda a good friend though At least you may remember my life When say “yeah” I look outside your two story window I see you sleeping in bed inside Just please don’t dream of me though Cause I won’t be there by your side When you wake up Don’t watch me land As I kick the can I look outside your two story window I see my whole life flash before my eyes At least I was kinda a good friend though At least you may remember my life As say “yeah, don’t watch me as land” As I kick the can I lay outside your two story window.
Never Age 03:22
As I grow older and the years pass me by The only thing that I learn is all things die If you go down I will go down too The only people I've known all my life is you Please say safe Please stay safe and never age I can't stand to see the wrinkles grow upon your face As time goes by I see the grey in your hair Sometimes I forget I'm not the only one who's aged through the years I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused Growing up made me realize I was wrong Mindless angst can blind your love When you were trying to protect me from who I was You grow weak, my heart breaks
Can you see me? Do you know me? You can’t feel me But believe me Just have faith You dumb sheep I created Just to praise me God and I went our separate ways But I swear I’m still the same Just a little less confused And free from the blood of Jesus I never asked for Grace And I don’t need to be saved Because a life without false hope is better than eternity in heaven Go to hell You sinner I predestined Your betrayal Break my rules Just repent Eat my bread and dunk your head Can you see me? Do you know me? You can’t feel me But believe me
Your skin, my skin seems familiar but it hasn’t hit that you’re not here I took you for granted and you’re gone I fear I wish we could work it out and try again But it’s too late too late to make things right and it can’t be changed You know all the feelings I hide You have seen my darkest nights You can see right through my lies When I say I don’t need you, don’t need you. Your lips full of shit, take away what isn’t positive The good times, the bad lines all meshed together like a tangled vine Of what we were and we are so different now but it’s still hard To wake up in separate rooms and not know who woke up next to you
Four weeks, more like 20 years it seems I can’t think about anything because lack of sleep The long nights wear on my back and mind The bright light welcomes another wasted day of life When I say that time is better spent away I’m just trying to convince myself life’s better off this way When I was younger this career seemed so much better on tv But they tell me that I’m living the dream Warm sleep woken up by fevered dreams The nights spent counting sheep and down the days ‘til you embrace me When will this end I don’t wanna spend another two weeks sleeping on a fucking bench seat If I could trade one night of sleep to have a day just you and me When I close my eyes you’re in my dreams Just a couple hours of reverie
Waves 04:29
Bridges with familiar structure Memories too hard to remember Forget it Apartment windows so cluttered With our things I drink and I stutter, “I’m sorry” Comes in waves and crashes around me I’m fine but it never gets easy Some days I wish I was happy But without you it would mean nothing Your room I wait up all night just to see you I’m watching to door for your move My room I wait up all night just to see if you think of me I’ll keep the light on if you want to come home.


released September 18, 2020


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