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Heavy Head

by Elder Brother

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1.
Pennsylvania 03:05
We're alive and so much isn't. We're alive and so much isn't. I've got a couple paper bags. We could keep our secret hidden. I'm not making excuses, I'm weighing my anchor. You're not asking the questions, I'm providing the answers. We're alive and so much isn't, but what's alive in these conditions? I still get sick from darker liquids but I can keep our secret hidden. When the corners of the earth folded together we laughed out loud and covered it in feathers. Oh, is it time to go? I didn't know you were waiting up. My left hand never knows what my right hand does. I didn't know you were waiting up. I didn't know you were waiting up.
2.
When the words that you throw do so much more damage than stones, down the road, later on, let it go. You know that sort of guilt can tear down anything you try to build, so relax, I'll see you in a month. Do you still talk when you're asleep? Do you think of me? When you fell free after hours of sinking deep, did you think of me? It never rains but it poured all week, did you think of me? When you're halfway drunk and you're feeling mean, do you think of me? No you aren't worth the weight of all of the gold it would take to pay back all your debts, so forget it. So here is where the wave broke and turned back to the sea. You said you thought you could trust me. I said I thought you looked guilty and I knew I was right. When you aren't tired but can't shake sleep do you think of me? Throw me to the wolves. Mention me by name. Pour oil on our troubled water and then set it to flame. Did you think of me?
3.
Webs 02:28
Laying on a mattress that I've had since I was nine. The springs gave way some years ago but the frame is doing fine. I'm not looking for anything. I'm not looking for anything. If seeing is believing, I guess I'm really blind. And is it me, or is wandering a decent state of mind? I always try to make some sense of webs that intertwine and if you never ask me anything, I'll never have to lie. I'm not looking for anything. I just want to listen to explosions from my bed. I'm not looking for anything. I just want a place for my head. As paper tigers passed the buck, my inherent embarrassment made me a sitting duck. In a world that's colder than the deepest river stone, it's hard to be alone.
4.
Oh dearest death, why have we met? Don't kill me dead. I still have money that I haven't spent. I'll call some friends. I'll make amends. But you can't wait for my bones to break. For the day they spread my ashes across the Bay State. You could hang on every word or hang me out to dry. I wanna go to heaven, but I don't wanna die. I never said the life that you were promised came without heavy breath. It's hard to not demand the answer to a question. For any sort of plan.
5.
I missed your exit, but you didn't notice, so neither did I, and I tried to take a snapshot that caught the both of us alive in something new, but I hesitated. I heard somebody say once, "believe you have it and you do", but it's not true. Don't ever say enough. Don't ever say too much, because that's how things always end. Count back from ten. I didn't say enough, but at least I didn't talk too much. I didn't say enough, but at least I didn't talk about the time we floated out and let a thousand flowers bloom inside our mouths. I know, we all have our own skeletons, but I'm dressing mine in green and red. What's supposed to be will be, do you think you'll still sing for me? Will you still sing for me?
6.
[Verse 1] Take another slow comfortable deep breath Feel the breath feeling your lungs And exhale Your body might begin to feel warm Take another slow comfortable deep breath Then breathe out, breathe in And breathe out Take another slow comfortable deep breath Feel the breath feeling your lungs Do it again And breathe again And breathing out at your own pace Take another slow comfortable deep breath (4x)
7.
Heavy Head 03:25
Have you seen the place they keep the dead? Do you still have a heavy head? You work your fingers to the bone. Put on a wooden overcoat. Does anybody know the best way to get home? It's getting late and I'm afraid of my own shadow. I should get singing before my song's been sung. Youth is wasted on the young. "You leave this place, you leave your pride." Don't threaten me with better times. You ask me what our future holds. I'll dig a hole and say, "let's go". Your heart of gold turned into stone. Don't ask what you don't want to know. But I wanna know.
8.
If I walk away then who's going to carry you home? If I walk away then who's going to carry you home? We may have had a bit too much, but no one has to know. But if I walk away then who's going to carry you home? I'll carry you home. We came here for the weekend. It was your friend's idea. It started as a few of us, now everybody's here. You took my hand and you told me "Dan, I'm not really one for crowds", so you took off out the window as fast as legs allowed. I thought if you just slowed down we might start making sense. You shivered under covers through the tail end of the summer. A certain sick no medicine could tame. And we were just kids, that's the hardest part. The things we build just to rip them apart. You ripped me apart.
9.
Really Free 02:34
Believe in movement. You need to use it. Pursue a new tryst and leave with bruises. Illustrate some points to me. I've got some problems listening. Why should I respect a thing when even we're allowed to breed? You ever think that you are sinking deep? Come and find me the nights you're really free. We will never be as free as our words. If you're looking for some proof, just take a look at the birds. Do you ever think that you are sinking deep
10.
In My Bones 03:45
You can walk on water but you don't know what it means to be in my bones, to be in my bloodstream. I started to whisper. You stared right back at me. And in silence I found I don't know who I believe. What if what you can't, you really can? Every now and then, would you call again? I never wanted it all. I just wanted to pretend that I was awake and that you were listening. Were you listening to me? My hands still shake but its only in my head. From the side of the stage I wish you broken legs. When I'm laying in bed and the Devil's in my dreams, will you take my hand? Will you sit beside me?
11.
Don't let the sun go down on your anger. The longest day in history still had to end. Throw all of your worries to the big blue sky because you never miss the water until the well runs dry. But I pay no attention to the things that hide out past the moon or anything I can't directly view, but you were the exception that proved my rule. You've got so many mountains and no one to trust, and you've got lonely Sunday mornings and two inches of dust. You've got a lot of options that you're stuck in between and you got some new tattoos, but you're still not sure what they mean. So lay down in a bed made of books you haven't read and call me when you've caught your second wind but I pay no attention to the things that hide out past the moon or anything I can't directly view.

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released March 11, 2014

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Elder Brother Oakland, California

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