Disenchanted

by Handguns

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03:07

credits

released November 13, 2015

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tags: punk Berkeley

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Pure Noise Records Berkeley, California

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Track Name: Self Portrait
[Little Miss Sunshine Sample]
Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest

[Verse 1]
Ever since I was a kid
I knew that I was different from the rest
With shaking hands and a chemically unbalance head
I scared the shit out of everyone with everything I said
I always the hardest time making new friends and
I still get those headaches I did when I was young
I still forget to watch the words that fall off my tongue

[Chorus]
This is the soundtrack to a movie
A motion picture that will always move me
A painted portrait of candid moments
My heart's a canvas and I'm the illustrator

[Verse 2]
A suburban family home, a bedroom of my own
A collection of CD's stacked up next to a blown out stereo
Were the only things that keep me from feeling alone
Like I had someone to talk to
It's hard enough when no one seems to get you
Most days I feel fine and other I feel like
I'm dying on the inside, forcing smiles on the outside
I'm an optimist and a pessimist in one

[Chorus]
This is the soundtrack to a movie
A motion picture that will always move me
A painted portrait of candid moments
My heart's a canvas and I'm the illustrator

[Bridge]
And if I were to suddenly die
I'd take a good look back at my whole life
Be proud of the things that I said and I did
I know I wasn't innocent but
I've always listened to the pound of the kick
And the strum of the pick telling me that this is it
(I'm an optimist and a pessimist in one)

[Chorus]
This is the soundtrack to a movie
A motion picture that will always move me
A painted portrait of candid moments
My heart's a canvas and I'm the illustrator

[Outro]
I couldn't paint you a better picture
Track Name: Worst In Me
[Intro]
It brings out the worst in me
Plagues me just like a disease
A dark cloud that won't seem to let me be
Ruining everything

[Verse 1]
Miserable at my very best
A walking cliche like the rest
Wish they could find a way to fix my head
And feel like myself again

[Pre-Chorus 1]
It's just like me to give into my grief
Shouldn't be surprised that, that I feel so alone

[Chorus]
Anxiety's got a hold on me
It's got me by the neck and won't let me breathe
It cuts right down to the bone, yeah
I'm living proof of a tortured soul

[Verse 2]
Fell asleep on the couch again
It's been three months since I've seen my friends
Alienated is what I tend to do best
When I'm down and I'm out again

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I guess it's true that I cut my own rope
Shouldn't be surprised that, that I feel so alone

[Chorus]
Anxiety's got a hold on me
It's got me by the neck and won't let me breathe
It cuts right down to the bone, yeah
I'm living proof of a tortured soul
There's no solution to my seclusion
I guess it's best I stay tied to this bed
Anxiety's got a hold on me
It's got me by the neck and won't let me breathe

[Bridge]
If you could see in my head
You'd understand why I can't control a shaking hand
Day in, day out, captive to my doubts
Thoughts never match the words from my mouth
When I wake up tomorrow and feel the same
Not a thing I can do to numb the pain
It's pulling me under, blood's in the water
Can I make it out alive?

It brings out the worst in
Plagues me just like a disease
A dark cloud that won't seem to let me be
Ruining everything

[Chorus]
Anxiety's got a hold on me
It's got me by the neck and won't let me breathe
It cuts right down to the bone, yeah
I'm living proof of a tortured soul
There's a solution to my seclusion
I guess it's best I stay tied to this bed
Anxiety's got a hold on me
It's got me by the neck and won't let me breathe
Track Name: My Lowest Point
[Intro]
Go

[Verse 1]
Wide awake on a cold hard floor
How much longer can I take this for
God only knows it I'll make it through the year
But I'm not sure if he exists, so
The answer to this remains unclear
Hard to believe when my demons reappear

Woah, yeah

[Verse 2]
Another night of an endless fight
Fixing to find some kind of peace of mind
Flew out the door with my light hearted state of mind

[Pre-Chorus]
So long, I'm gone
I can't live like this anymore
Goodbye, red eyes, I'll be sleeping rest assure

[Chorus]
Stuck at a fork in the road
A little unsure about where to go
The path I choose I know will guide me home
I can feel it
I'm better off than I was before
You couldn't stand to see me face down on the floor
There's a little bright light at the end of the road
And a sign that says "Hey kid, welcome home"

Woah, yeah

[Verse 3]
Safe to say I'm at my lowest point
This has been the roughest year of my whole life
And it's not even summer yet
How can I find hope when it always waits
Inside of my head, day after day
I know you're wrong yeah, something's gotta change

[Pre-Chorus]

Wasted anger on these walls too many times
I think it's time I open my red eyes
Realize that I'm just wasting time

[Chorus]
Stuck down a fork in the road
A little unsure about where to go
The path I choose I know will guide me home
I can feel it
I'm better off than I was before
You couldn't stand to see me face down on the floor
There's a little bright light at the end of the road
And a sign that says "Hey kid, welcome home"

[Outro]
Woah
Hey kid, welcome home
Yeah
Track Name: Low Spirits
[Intro]
Winter's over but I feel colder

[Verse 1]
I caught a glimpse of my reflection today
Couldn't help but notice how much I've changed
And then I thought back to those calm carefree days
When there was nothing in my way

[Pre-Chorus 1]
But hey, I know you hate me for going crazy
I haven't been myself, pessimism doesn't help
And hey, yeah it's pathetic, I'm apathetic
I do this to myself, it's my own living hell

[Chorus]
Expect the worst when I'm around
Your head's in the clouds but I'll bring you down
I'm jaded, frustrated, and burnt out
So expect the worst cause I'll be sure to let you down

[Verse 2]
Sitting on this lookout all alone
Thinking I may never come back home
Running from my problems, the only way to solve them
But I still don't know where I'm running too

[Pre-Chorus 2]
But hey, please don't hate me for going crazy
I know my point of view is a little more than skewed

[Chorus]
Expect the worst when I'm around
Your heads in the clouds but I'll bring you down
I'm jaded, frustrated, and burnt out
So expect the worst cause I'll be sure to let you down

[Bridge]
Winter's over but I feel colder
The chip on my shoulder's taking over
Blocking out the lights
Standing on the edge of the tallest building
Surely it's a trap but clear we're falling
I'll find the answers down below
And figure out why I became an asshole

[Chorus]
Expect the worst when I'm around
Your heads in the clouds but I'll bring you down
I'm jaded, frustrated, and burnt out
So expect the worst cause I'll be sure to let you down

[Chorus]
Expect the worst when I'm around
Your heads in the clouds but I'll bring you down
I'm jaded, frustrated, and burnt out
So expect the worst cause I'll be sure to let you down

[Outro]
I'll let you down
Track Name: Bury Me
[Intro]
Bury me alive
Six feet under lies
Pile up the dirt
And then just leave me here to die

[Verse 1]
All the sacrifices that I've made
Calls for an open grave
Like a conscious autopsy
Find your knife pierce through me
Wide awake as you cut me apart
If light comes from within
Well then yours must be dimmed

[Pre-Chorus 1]
You are the death of me
And I'm not scared to go to hell
Cause I know you'll be there as well

[Chorus]
Bury me alive
Six feet under lies
Pile up the dirt
And then just leave me here to die
If I had just one wish
I'd drag you down with me
Rot hand in hand for eternity

[Verse 2]
When I said I'd die for you
I meant the honest truth
I always keep my promises
And now I'll follow through
Digging your ditch tonight
I'll enjoy the view of worms by the glow of candle light

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I dare you to join me
And I'm not scared to go to hell
Cause I know you'll be there as well

[Chorus]
Bury me alive
Six feet under lies
Pile up the dirt
And then just leave me here to die
If I had just one wish
I'd drag you down with me
Rot hand in hand for eternity

[Bridge]
As I take my final breath
And start to close my eyes
I'm thankful for this time I get to have you by my side
So lay your head upon my chest
As our love decays
Underneath the solid ground
Where we'll spend all our days
Down here, down here

[Chorus]
Bury me alive
Six feet under lies
Pile up the dirt
And then just leave me here to die
If I had just one wish
I'd drag you down with me
Rot hand in hand for eternity

[Outro]
Just bury me
Track Name: Carbon Copy Elitist
[Intro Skit]
Hey Smokie, you going to the show tonight?
Nah man, I don't think so. I didn't get a ticket and I think it's sold out
Why'd you sleep on the ticket? They just put out the best 7 inch
I don't know man, I think I like the last record better. Way more feeling. How are you getting in?
Dude, I'm best friends with the band


I don't wanna talk about all your favorite records
And I don't really care what bands you think are better
Just another hypocrite in a room that's filled with idiots
You and I both know it
(Fuck)

How can you expect to grow
When vanity's all that you know
Save your breath and swallow your pride
You won't go far with that state of mind
(Go)

(Woah, woah)
Yeah you got in on the guest list
(Woah, woah)
You know you couldn't resist it
(Woah, woah)
The idea, another empty friendship
And I hope it's worth it
Track Name: Disenchanted
[Skit]
Woah, sorry
Woah, hahaha
Woah...

[Intro]
Woah-woah
Woah-woah
Woah-woaaah
Woah-woah
Woah-woah
Woah-woaaah

[Verse 1]
Just like a wrecking ball swinging through a second story window
Everything's in pieces, my eyes just can't believe
I feel the undertow pulling hard, never letting go
I can't fight this sinking feeling
Hate the hands that they've been dealing
Instill the image of a saint
Into the heads of the people you hate

[Chorus]
Lost my way and all my faith
The only thing that I believed in turned out to be something so different and
All I have left in me is some paper and a microphone
A sore throat and a broken home

[Post-Chorus]
Woah-woah
Woah-woah
Woah-woaaah
Woah-woah
Woah-woah
Woah-woaaah

[Verse 2]
On the opposing team, out for blood, not playing clean
Racking up the penalties
I don't watch my mouth I, say what I mean
Been doing this since nineteen
What makes you think that you know anything, yeah
It's you who fuels the anger for these words I put on paper
Thick skin but I can see through you
Vomit lies while you choke on the truth

[Chorus]
Lost my way and all my faith
The only thing that I believed in turned out to be something so different and
All I have left in me is some paper and a microphone
A sore throat and a broken home

[Bridge]
I won't forget that first December
I felt alive for the first time ever
(Disappointment swallowed me)
(and sent me right back on the street)

[Chorus]
I lost my way and all my faith
The only thing that I believed in turned out to be something so different and
All I have left in me is some paper and a microphone
A sore throat and a broken home

[Outro]
The reason for my disenchantment
I know you'll take this for granted
Bled me dry of all my passion
This didn't go the way I planned it
The reason for my disenchantment
I know you'll take this for granted
Bled me dry of all my passion
This didn't go the way I planned it
Track Name: Conjuring My Youth
[Verse 1]
I saw a ghost of myself down by the river
We always used to throw rocks in
I couldn't help but sit there, stare up and wonder
Just where the hell that person's been

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Remember those nights never seem to end
Well they did and we'll never get 'em back again

[Chorus]
I don't, I don't, feel the same way as I used to
But I guess, I guess, that's what happens
When you let nostalgia get the best of you, you

[Verse 2]
Bonfires lit up the dead of the winter
It's so good to be home again
Watch the sunset with all our friends
We drank away the weekends
We were so naive back then

[Pre-Chorus 2]
There's not one thing that I'd change, I'd live it just the same
And I'd make all the same mistakes

[Chorus]
I don't, I don't, feel the same way as I used to
But I guess, I guess, that's what happens
When you let nostalgia get the best of...

[Verse 3]
Wish I had all the time in the world
To count the stars in the sky, or just waste time
By counting cars passing by
Staring at clouds while questioning life

[Bridge]
When I die, bury me by the river
We always used to throw rocks in

[Chorus]
I don't, I don't, feel the same way as I used to
But I guess, I guess, that's what happens
When you let nostalgia get the best of you
Track Name: Missed Calls
[Verse 1]
I packed my bags, you cried your eyes
It doesn't get much easier to say goodbye
I never called to get this right
Always the same thing every time

[Pre-Chorus 1]
So here's a song for all of the times
I never called much, you were on my mind

[Chorus]
I hope you know (I hope you know)
When I'm out on the open road
I count the days til I get home so we could be alone
I've seen the mountains, lakes, the tall palm trees
But they don't compare with what you mean to me

[Verse 2]
You dropped me off for the door
Tell her I can't do this anymore
I kiss your head, I'm out the door
I promise I'm worth waiting for

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I won't forget to charge my phone this time
As long as you stay on the other line

[Chorus]
I hope you know (I hope you know)
When I'm out on the open road
I count the days til I get home so we could be alone
I've seen the mountains, lakes, the tall palm trees
But they don't compare with what you mean to me

[Bridge]
I know it feels like I'm a ghost when
You're in the bedroom all alone and
You've got our picture on the night stand
Fell asleep with the TV on again

[Verse 3]
So play this song at night when
You're feeling left behind
And if you swear to hold on tight then
I'll be right by your side

[Chorus]
I hope you know (I hope you know)
When I'm out on the open road
I count the days til I get home so we could be alone
I've seen the mountains, lakes, the tall palm trees
But they don't compare with what you mean to me
I count the days til I get home so we could be alone
Track Name: Recovery
[Verse 1]
Finally the sun is shining
So bright it's almost blinding
Hope you know that I'm doing fine
I'm no longer losing my mind
This past year just got so crazy
My focus got a little hazy
Feeling alright for the first time in the longest time

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Oh it's not that fun
Hiding from everyone

[Chorus]
What else could I do
I had everything to lose
Don't let the weight just bury you
I'm the one to blame
For why I felt that way
Standing in the pouring rain

[Verse 2]
Friends scattered across the country
Let me know I'm in good company
From the south to the Golden State
And everywhere in between

[Pre-Chorus 2]
And oh I should have known
That I was never alone

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Woah, woah
Woah, woah
They say, my whole life is like
Staring down the barrel of a loaded gun
But I won't turn around and run
No I won't, no I won't
They say, my whole life is like
Staring down the barrel of a loaded gun
But I won't turn around and run

[Chorus]

[Chorus]

[Outro]
I'm the one to blame