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Everything But What You Need

by Speak Low If You Speak Love

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1.
Art School 01:55
Art School Lyrics That blue coffee cup isn't of much use now, it collects change to fund the things that I'm not proud of. My friends all say that I have changed; forgot my roots and lost my way. Perhaps I've shifted since last Fall, but your painting still hangs on my wall. And every night you wear a new skirt and I used to care about buttoned-up shirts, now I look forward to sleeping in and when the next day will begin. The next drink might swallow me, I know I shouldn't lift my lips to see, but after everything you put me through, I'm allowed to be as sad as you. I'm allowed to be as sad as you.
2.
Knots 03:35
I've got knots in my hair and knots in my stomach, both thanks to you but for very different reasons. I pretend not to care or act like I'm above it, but it's hard to face the truth when you know all my demons. You're too far and I'm far too jealous. History repeats itself just like an old friend who tells the same stories since we were kids, and I purposely chase the hearts I know I'll never win, but I've been down this road before - don't wanna go back again. It's like pulling teeth to get inside of your head because you've invested time not to say what's on your mind. Now I'm pulling out every strand and you can see every single vein on the back of my hand... ...as I wait for you to tell me you love me. History repeats itself just like an old friend who tells the same stories since we were kids and I reserve the right to change the ending this time. I reserve the right to change the ending.
3.
Eight Weeks 03:09
I thought that you'd have the decency to tell me that you were eight weeks along. And I thought that you'd have the decency to tell me that everything that could go wrong would go wrong. I've never met a Southern Belle who put me through so much hell. I've only got myself to blame for finding you in everything. I can't believe that I'm still letting you bring me down. All my friends say I'm a bummer to be around. It took everything within me not to call you on your birthday. I guess I just wanted to see if there was anything left for me to say. But I was foolish and I was late because you've got a man who provides and a child on the way. I can't believe that I'm still letting you bring me down. All my friends say I'm a bummer to be around.
4.
I'll get scared and you'll get bored, it's the only conclusion my mind can form. You'll say goodbye and I'll apologize, for not being strong enough to ever realize that I don't know anything about anything anymore And you don't know anything about me (because I won't let you). I knew you would leave, I'm not what you need, I won't leave my bed if it means I can dream. I made a list of things for us to do, we only crossed off one and two Now I don't know what to do because I don't know anything about anything anymore And you don't know anything about me. I'm usually on the other end when things start to break and things start to bend, I'm usually on the other side, when love is a lightswitch and its glow slowly dies. My mother says she's been praying but I don't think that it's doing much. I said "don't wear yourself out 'cause I know my edges are rough." My mother says she's been praying but I don't think that it's doing much, Cause I'm sad and I'm scared and I'm alone again. She just won't understand.
5.
Ruined 02:56
I remember those nights, the lonely sound of the service drive. I remember those times I thought that I could make you mine. Your dark hair and your coffee eyes, I wanted to fix you, but you didn't want to fight. Your heart was sad, but so was mine. Your heart was a stubborn slope that I couldn't climb. Every night we'd say goodbye, you'd shut the door with a sigh You kept saying we didn't have much time It's all your fault, and I'll always blame you, I dreamt a life for us and it could've come true, But you packed all your things and said that "we're through because you ruined me and I ruined you." We were library lovers where no one could see, Midnight diners always in secrecy. Moonlit drives to your front door, You wanted my attention but nothing more. I couldn't break it off, I had no guts because you were one of my few great loves. Now you changed the locks and moved on out, You had abandoned your love for doubt. It's all your fault, and I'll always blame you, I dreamt a life for us and it could've come true, But you packed all your things and said that "we're through because you ruined me and I ruined you." I ruined you.
6.
Locking Lips 01:51
It's a lie: hopeless romantic. It's a frail excuse I use when I know I can't commit. So I don't try, I get caught up in semantics, and my conversational skills could use some practice. If you could build a lifetime on locking lips, then I promise you I'd be better off than this. So I give up, I'd rather feel sorry for myself, than take your patient heart away from someone else.
7.
Confusion 04:10
We traveled all the roads we never meant to go. I don't know how to get back when all I have is an old, dirty map. It's beat to hell just like my heart, but it tells a tale beneath the stars. And if I don't make it back to where you are, I'll find myself along the way and that's an honest start. I'm stuck in this body that doesn't know what it wants or what it needs or who it loves or anything. I'm stuck in this body that doesn't know what it wants or what it needs or who it loves or anything. I've cried in airport terminals, I've wept in the car. It's always the places you hate that make us who we are. If you could see from where you stand, I'd still be the monster you think that I am. If I don't make it back to where we were, I'll pack my bags and just go - one day I'll learn. I'm stuck in this body that doesn't know what it wants or what it needs or who it loves or anything. I'm stuck in this body that doesn't know what it wants or what it needs or who it loves or anything. I've broken hearts, I've had mine shattered. I've come this far just to move backward. And all these scars are just memories, although I don't know what they mean to me.
8.
You could tell I was nervous and that's nothing new. You said "Come with me, there's something that I want to show you." So, expecting anything, I took your hand reluctantly. It wasn't long until you were saying "sorry." I barely knew your name, but I was intrigued. You said "Love is guess and check" and I guess I would agree. I barely knew your name, but there I was in the passengers seat to see if I had guessed correctly. That's when your shirt got caught in a barbed wire fence and I kissed you, in the freezing cold. I didn't know that you smoked. That's when we got in your car and you drove back home 'til you spun out, we were close to death. And I held my breath just for you. Just for you. You said you wanted movie scenes and melodies, but it's a lot of pressure trying to be the man of someone's dreams. So, I put my guard up, naturally and I lost sight of you along the way. That's when your shirt got caught in a barbed wire fence and I kissed you, in the freezing cold. And I should have known that you smoked. That's when we got in your car and you drove back home 'til you spun out, we were close to death. And I held my breath just for you. Just for you.
9.
Naive 01:55
You ruined all my favorite bands. Every time I sing along I always see your hands. That perfect skin against my sweaty palms, and your face of discontent always made me feel so small. You abused all my favorite books, I know you never read half the ones you took. Still all the pages are torn and frayed, memorized the underlined hoping to impress me. But it won't work, I'm not that naive. No, we won't work, You just don't get me.
10.
Tiny Furnace 05:41
That dress you wore the day we went over the train tracks: I want that day back. You said God wasn't in the sky and there was nothing I could do or say to change your mind. But I didn't want to change it. You're a tiny furnace and I'm the coal you're burning Can't you see I can't douse the flame, things will never be the same. You're a tiny furnace and I'm the coal you're burning, Can't you see I can't douse the flame, but two can play at this game. Your blonde hair on the bed - the same one your mother caught me in. Those stars stuck to your ceiling seemed so out of reach, and I let them keep me up while you were fast asleep. And I know I panicked, and I'm sorry. You're a tiny furnace and I'm the coal you're burning Can't you see I can't douse the flame, things will never be the same. You're a tiny furnace and I'm the coal you're burning, Can't you see I can't douse the flame, but two can play at this game. I got scared that you were too much, you were too much. I got scared that I wasn't enough, wasn't enough. I pretended that you didn't exist, you didn't exist. That's something I never would wish, never would wish.... ...on anyone.
11.
Adjacent 03:31
Half asleep on the couch in your basement, there's a combination of things keeping me awake. 'Cause I know in the room adjacent, you lie beside the lease you signed and not the man you thought you'd find. No, there's no convincing you - I should've never came, your mind's already made. There's no convincing you. I don't know what I thought I'd get, but I know I didn't get it. I didn't have the money but I swallowed the toll, and you don't seem to mind. I couldn't spit it out so you swallowed me whole, and you don't seem to mind. I placed a carefully crafted handwritten letter in your laundry basket. On top of dirty clothes I came clean, juxtaposed, and said to you everything you'd already known. Like, "I'm sick of the time zones and taking the train. You're wearing me out, you're wearing me out. There's no room in Logan Square, or evidently anywhere. You tore us apart. You tore us apart." I didn't have the money but I swallowed the toll, and you don't seem to mind. I couldn't spit it out so you swallowed me whole, and you don't seem to mind.
12.
Have My Head 03:17
My mother would have my head if she knew what I did. She'd have my head if she knew what I did. You were the opposite of elegance, with a trace left of me on your fingertips, a compromise of body and mind for you. And everything that I'd been taught turned as black as the hair on the back of your arm, your olive skin retreated again that night. So I sat in my car with my head on the dash, waiting for this to pass. My mother would have my head if she knew what I did. She'd have my head if she knew what I did. Visions of you from three nights before haunted me as a slipped out the door, my rotten judgment rose above me once again. I spun in my stool hoping that you would give me the attention I was accustomed to, but it never came, you stayed the same: selfish, unkind and still in my way. We found ourselves tangled up in words we didn't mean. I'm guilty too, but somehow everything meant more to me.

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released March 31, 2015

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Speak Low If You Speak Love Los Angeles, California

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